The Truth Fucking Hurts

“Union Station please — as fast as you can”

This isn’t the first time I’ve ‘run away’. To be completely honest, I’ve run away my entire life. Whenever the going gets hard — i’m gone before you even know it. I truly think that stems from a flash back of the night my ‘dad’ left my family that vividly is replayed in my mind. I run, just like he did, from my problems.

Flash forward, here i am sitting on a train, going to philly, after talking myself out of multiple international flight searches. What happened exactly? Well, to put it simply, I told the truth. The hard truth.

The story starts here with a realization and a question;

The truth is scary. It can hurt, it can be painful, but is it necessary?

In short — yes.

At this point you might be thinking, well it can be complicated. Well, of course it can be complicated, especially if it’s not your truth to be told. But at what point do you face the hardship and either tell yourself, or someone else, someone you care about, the truth?

My best friend decided to date my best friend. What a fucking disaster. To get to the point, it did not end well. Want to hear the best part? He cheated on her with another one of my best friends. Straight out of a movie — right ?

I was proposed with two options: the first being, tell her. Tell her the honest to god truth what happened. Obviously I knew deep down that was necessary on my behalf. But being the person I am, thinking with my heart for all, I allowed the truth to be hidden. I chose to lie on his part, half believing he would own up on his own and take responsibility for his actions, the other half of me believing what I was doing was being a coward. Truth be told, I knew I was going to lose one, if not two, friendships. I begged, I pleaded, for him to tell the truth. I knew deep down that I was going to have to eventually, but I didn’t want to admit such a thing.

At what point do you decide when it’s the right time to tell the truth, especially when you know it’s going to hurt hard than not saying anything at all? If it’s always the right thing to do, tell the truth that is, then why is it so hard to tell?

I never realized what being ‘stuck in the middle’ truly entailed — until my best guy friend started dating my best friend, who I might add is my roommate. At first, I kicked myself for not thinking about setting them up before — then, as expected, it got messy. Like, really messy. The best part? I had just started dating his best friend.

Not only did he cheat on her, with another one of my best friends I might add, but their entire relationship was a fucking lie. In denial, I let it slide. Time after time, until the cheating scandal. Something was no longer sitting right inside me, I knew at this point I had to say something.

To put it shortly, it felt as if the entire city burn to the ground when I finally built up the courage to tell her. That was partially due to the fact these two individuals are the most absurd people I’ve encountered my entire existence on earth. I wish that was an exaggeration.